When I picked up What Every BODY is Saying by Joe Navarro, I thought I’d just learn about how to read a room better. What I didn’t expect was how much I’d start catching the smallest, sneakiest non-verbal cues all around me. Navarro, a former FBI agent, gives you this insider’s playbook to human behavior—whether it’s a twitch, a blink, or even where someone’s toes are pointing. It’s like being handed the cheat codes for reading people.
Here’s a rundown of my top 10-15 takeaways from the book, plus some fun (and, let’s be honest, pretty awkward) real-life moments where I put my new skills to use.
1. Feet Talk Louder Than Words: Feet Never Lie
I never really thought about feet being a big tell, but apparently, they’re the real giveaway. Navarro says that while we can fake a smile or control our facial expressions, our feet give us away. If someone’s feet are pointing towards the exit, they’ve already mentally checked out. Now, when I’m in meetings, I can’t help but glance at people’s feet and wonder if they’re daydreaming about being somewhere else.
2. Comfort vs Discomfort is the Key to Everything
Navarro breaks it down into two simple categories: people are either comfortable or uncomfortable. That’s it. If they’re shifting in their seat, touching their neck, or fiddling with something, chances are they’re not feeling great. I caught myself nervously adjusting my sleeve during a tense conversation once—and it was like, whoops, okay, I’m clearly uncomfortable.
3. The Eyes Really Do Have It (When It Comes to Smiling)
I thought I could always tell a real smile from a fake one, but now I know the trick: it’s all in the eyes. A genuine smile crinkles the skin around the eyes. I tested this out when I was with friends—I’d smile without my eyes and then with them, and, honestly, the difference is huge. People can totally tell when you’re faking it.
4. Mirroring: The Secret Sign of “I Like You”
Ever notice how, when you’re really vibing with someone, you start mimicking each other’s body language? This is called mirroring, and it’s a subtle way of saying, “I’m into this conversation.” I realized I was doing this when I was catching up with an old friend. We both leaned in at the same time, and it hit me—I like this person, and we’re totally on the same page.
5. Crossed Arms Don’t Always Mean “I’m Defensive”
I’ve always thought crossed arms meant someone was being closed off or defensive. Turns out, that’s not always the case. Sometimes people just cross their arms because they’re cold or it’s comfortable. Now, when I catch myself doing it, I think twice—am I shutting down or just feeling cozy?
6. Pacifying Gestures: My Personal Nervous Tell
I had no idea how much I was giving away with my own body language until Navarro pointed out “pacifying gestures.” These are things we do—like touching our necks, rubbing our hands, or fidgeting—to calm ourselves down when we’re stressed. Before a big meeting, I realized I kept touching my face. Classic pacifying move! It was almost funny once I noticed it in myself.
7. Thumbs Out, Confidence In
If someone talks with their thumbs visible, that’s a sign they’re confident. Now I catch this in meetings all the time. I even started noticing when I show my thumbs without thinking—usually when I feel pretty sure of what I’m saying. It’s these little cues that Navarro makes you aware of, and once you see them, you can’t unsee them.
8. Rapid Blinking = Stress Alert
Blinking too fast is a telltale sign of stress. I didn’t realize this until I started catching myself blinking more than usual when something made me nervous. It’s like my body was waving a giant stress flag, and I hadn’t even noticed. Now, I watch for it in others too, and it’s kind of amazing how spot-on it can be.
9. Eye Blocking: You Don’t Want to See That
When people don’t want to see something, they instinctively block their eyes—whether by rubbing them or even closing them for a second. I caught myself doing this after hearing some bad news the other day. It’s so subtle, but your brain’s like, “Nope, I’d rather not witness this.”
10. Open Palms: The Honesty Indicator
Apparently, showing your palms is a sign of openness and honesty. I tried this during a serious conversation recently and noticed how it made me feel more genuine. It’s a little hack I plan on using more often when I need to build trust.
11. The Neck Touch: My Go-To Stress Move
This one hit home for me. Touching your neck is a sign of stress, and I do this all the time without realizing it. Now, when I catch myself doing it, I try to figure out what’s stressing me out. Spoiler alert: it’s usually something I’m trying to avoid.
12. Respect the Personal Space Bubble
We all have an invisible bubble around us, and when people get too close, it feels uncomfortable. I didn’t realize how often I’d notice this, especially in elevators or crowded places. Now I’m hyper-aware of it, and I keep my distance when I sense someone’s bubble being invaded.
13. Crossed Legs Away from You? They’re Outta Here
I had no idea that when people cross their legs away from you, it’s a sign they’re disengaged. I noticed this during a dinner with a group of friends. One person kept crossing their legs away, and sure enough, they were the first to leave. Lesson learned!
14. Chin Jutting: Here Comes the Challenge
This was a fun one to spot. When someone juts their chin forward, it’s like they’re bracing for a challenge or asserting themselves. I started noticing this in debates and arguments—if you see the chin jut, buckle up, because things are about to get serious.
15. Microexpressions: Blink and You Miss Them
Microexpressions are those tiny, fleeting facial expressions that last less than a second but reveal true emotions. I saw this in action during a conversation when someone flashed a quick look of annoyance before putting on a smile. It’s like a mini window into what they’re really feeling.
My Final Thoughts on What Every BODY is Saying
This book is like a crash course in understanding people without them saying a word. It made me more aware of my own body language as much as other people’s. Now, I catch myself in the act—whether it’s a nervous neck touch or noticing someone’s feet pointing towards the door. If you’ve ever been curious about what your body is saying when you’re not even paying attention, this book is a must-read. Trust me, your interactions will never feel the same again.